Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind

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Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind

Words to include: transmission, commence, production.

He was flabbergasted. Never before had this happened, aliens had taken over Drew’s podcast in the middle of production. All those years of watching Star Trek and learning Klingon had finally paid off, even though the aliens had made the effort to learn English so they could communicate with him, which he appreciated.

Ever since he was little he had known there was something out there, something beyond us. He’d always longed for aliens to find him and bring him to a new, fantastical world. Anything would be better than living in this poor excuse for a town in the middle of nowhere. That’s part of the reason why he started the podcast, to inform others about the possibilities of space and to possibly communicate beyond our stars to someone, or something that could help him in his plight. He never dreamt that the transmission would be able to get that far, but somehow it did. This was the best day of his life.

——–

The kids up on the hill overlooking the radio station were laughing so hard they could barely breath. Brett, the leader of their group and Drew’s brother, thought it would be a brilliant idea to give Drew what he’d always wanted. Turns out they were right, after all it was clearly a great joke to them. 

Drew asked the alien, “what do you want? How far have you travelled? Why have you come here?” To which Brett replied, “you ask many questions human Drew and I will try my best to answer them. We want to talk to you and others like you to find out more about your Earth, and how you came to exist. We’ve travelled for 50 of your human years to meet you and we came here because of your podcast, and to hopefully commence an interstellar friendship with your world.” They all couldn’t stop laughing, Brett was so happy his joke was working. And Drew was so happy he felt as though all of his dreams were coming true.

Suddenly screams began to come through the speaker at the station, Drew was distraught, “are you ok? What’s happening? Where are you? I can help!” A yell this time, “the hill! Please help us!” So Drew swung into action grabbing his torch, phone and rape whistle, all of which he felt were entirely necessary for this situation, and ran off to the top of the hill.

——

Atop the hill Brett and his friends were screaming uncontrollably. A strange white and almost translucent life form was standing before them. It looked almost like an axolotl crossed with a very thin and skinny gingerbread man. It kept saying this strange thing to them, “gobbl gobba dududi di!” Which loosely translated means, “how dare you pretend to be us, mock us! We were going to do the same thing tonight! Ugh, the surprise is totally ruined.”

Drew ran to the top of the hill as fast as he could. He saw his brother and his friends lying there crying and barely holding it together. He was severely disappointed and should have known better, he thought, until he was distracted by a strange white glow. He looked up and saw a very strange looking translucent pinata. “Haha, very funny you guys.”

“Bu-, bu- but it wasn’t a joke. I mean it started out like that, bu- but that thing… it’s real…”

“Sure Brett, sure it is…”

The alien floated down before Drew and started to say, “dududi du, manana puaskali gouda.” Which loosely translated means, “don’t you understand me? I thought you of all humans would understand?” 

“Nice try. You seriously think an alien language would sound like that? Great job Brett, really great job.” And he turned around and went back down to the station to mope. Brett and his friends were in shock as the alien dejectedly floated back up to it’s spaceship, muttering to itself and reenacting what had just happened as though trying to figure out what exactly went wrong.

It would just have to make a new plan and try again later. 

Brett changed that night, never would he make a joke at someone else’s expense again. In fact, from that night forth he found himself just as obsessed with aliens as Drew always was, if not more. Drew was proud that he’d managed to rub off so well on his brother, but Brett was just waiting for the next time he would see that alien, so he could punch it in the face before hugging it and apologising. He had a lot of confusing feelings at the moment.

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